Curb my enthusiasm

Isn't this just lovely? Not the Japanese maple, silly. The curb! We're finally done painting the fire lane. When I volunteered to check into the cost of having someone come out to repaint our townhouse complex curbs, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. And I was getting into it myself. I could have gone with the painting company that wanted something like $1,500 to paint a couple of hundred feet of curb, but instead, I volunteered to do it myself, thinking it might be fun way to spend a pleasant Saturday morning. Oh, and I volunteered Robert to help.

Our complex has just 12 units, so when things have to get done, one of us has to step up and coordinate. Normally, it involves calling a company out to take care of the job--cleaning the gutters, repairing a fence, hiring a new landscaper. Rarely does anyone actually do the work themselves. I figure that such a visible job as painting these curbs and saving my neighbors some dough would score me at least two years until it's my turn to take on another project.

Having inherited a bit of my dad's perfectionism, I decided to scrape off as much of the old paint as possible. This, I found, was most effectively done by hand with a metal scraping tool and a wire brush. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Well, I could stop. I got tired frequently and stopped. It rained for 40 days and 40 nights and I stopped. But I couldn't stop what I had started and admit that I had made this harder than it needed to be.

Neighbors walked by and saw me hunched over, scraping, dripping with sweat and proposed various methods that might be easier. One neighbor brought his electric sander out and tried it out on about 50 feet of curb. While a few flakes flung off, I'd describe it as more of a buffing than paint removal. At best, he created smooth, shiny, flaking paint. I thanked him for his contribution to the job, and later scraped his section again when he wasn't looking. Another neighbor pitched in, using a razor blade. His method was fairly effective, but after about two hours, he remembered he had somewhere to go.

The job was left half done for weeks because it rained nearly every day in April. If we had hired a company to do it, no doubt my neighbors would have been up in arms to see scraped curbs left unpainted for weeks. Yesterday, I had the day off, so I put in another four hours and today we finished the job. I have a whole new appreciation for the term "curb appeal."

I've been noticing how poorly maintained many fire lane curbs are. Even in our local swanky mall, the curbs are blackened with tire marks, chipped and flaky. The required 3-inch-high markings of "FIRE LANE" and "NO PARKING" in white lettering which are to be placed at intervals of no less than 50 feet are faded and illegible.

Last night, I dreamt of paint scraping. Paint was flaking off in large strips. I peeled and peeled until an entire wall of paint came off in one piece, giving me the kind of pleasure one gets in peeling an orange and ending up with one solitary piece of orange peel. You don't get pleasure from that? Oh. Maybe it's just me.

While I scraped, I tried to remember the last time I'd really had a hard day of back-breaking work. We don't have much of a backyard and what we have is really Robert's baby. It's been awhile. A masseuse recently commented on how smooth my feet and hands are, completely free of calluses. I recall as a kid that hands like that would be hidden in one's pocket for fear of being ridiculed by classmates who were up with the cows every day. I took pride in having summer jobs that gave me blisters, a farmer's tan, and a reason to wear cowboy boots without looking like a poser. Those days are long gone. I have a masseuse, for Pete's sake.

I also thought about going down to the local Home Depot and hiring one of the dozens of day workers who loiter in the parking lot, waiting for a job. I probably could have had the job done in one day. Unlike me, whoever I had hired probably would not have taken 30 minute breaks every 45 minutes. I'd probably have to pay less than $100. What a strange world we have created where I can pay a guy $100 to work under the hot sun for hours, while I made more than that sitting in a climate-controlled conference room on Thursday afternoon for a quarterly business review meeting where my primary responsibility was to sit and listen.

And I thought about the people who think that it is those willing workers outside of Home Depot who are ruining our economy. And all the people--including me--who take for granted all the hard working immigrants who mow our lawns, clean our dishes, mop our floors and paint our fire lane curbs. We have forgotten how hard a hard day's work really is, if we ever knew at all.

This most recent wave of anti-immigrant sentiment seems to have popped up out of nowhere. All of the sudden, "illegal immigration" has lurched into the top position of social concerns. With the president's ratings down and the Republicans fearing they'll lose one of the three branches of government they dominate, they're pulling out all the stops to create another wedge issue. No surprise. It's worked for them before (Look for the anti-gay marriage amendment to rear its ugly head again soon in a big way).

On May 1, an unknown number of immigrants are planning to skip work to protest proposed federal immigration policies. One of our local business owners is worried that he'll be left bussing tables at his restaurant, A.P. Stump's Chop House in San Jose. In the Mercury News, Mr. Stump said, "I told them I'd terminate them. If they strike, they'll shut me down. I'm loyal to them, giving them two weeks off if they have a baby or something, and that's not showing loyalty if I've got $30,000 in lost business.''

Wow. Two weeks off if they have a baby or something. What a prince. Never mind that the Family and Medical Leave Act requires larger employers to give 12 weeks of unpaid leave for having a baby or something. And how's their medical plan, Mr. Stump? They do get dental and vision, don't they? Do you contribute to their 401(K)? I didn't think so. But you are loyal, not firing them for having a baby and all.

While I plan to be at work on Monday, I'm glad I spend my day off doing some hard work, reminding myself how it is mostly luck that I have the opportunity to choose whether I ever want to work that hard again. Most of the people who will skip work on Monday are doing the best they can with the cards that they've been dealt. While I cringe at the way our economy exploits them, I am awfully glad they are here. In a couple of years, the curb is going to been to be painted again.

Tony Snow was not Bush's first choice

Tony Snow from Fox News will soon take the place of Scott McClellan as the White House press secretary. Snow was not the president’s first choice however. Three other candidates turned down the offer.

The president’s top choice was the silver-tongued, former spokeswoman for the Bartlet Administration, CJ Cregg. When informed that Ms. Cregg is a fictional character on the television show The West Wing, the president was undeterred: “Living in a fictional world for nearly eight years can only be an asset to Ms. Cregg in this position.” After considering the offer, the character responded that she would turn down the offer to spend more time with her fake boyfriend from Thirtysomething.

Second on the list was perky, former Survivor contestant, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who now sits on the sofa at The View. Turning down the offer, she said she would find the position stifling. “I prefer to keep doing what I’m doing, robotically echoing right-wing talking points every morning here on The View. Many more people listen to our ‘Hot Topics’ chats than ever watch those stale White House briefings."

“Plus,” she said, “We just lost Meredith to The Today Show. If were to leave, Ms. Walters would get really mad, and you don’t want to make Ms. Walters mad.”

Next on the list was Teller, the speechless half of the duo Penn & Teller. The Mute Community praised the offer as an encouraging gesture of inclusion. Teller had no comment on the job offer. Upon hearing of Teller’s non-reaction, the president offered to triple the salary. “He’s our man!”

An Epitaph for George W. Bush

First the peaceniks said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was not a peacenik.

Then the liberals said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was not a liberal.

Then the international community said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was an American.

Then the traditional conservatives said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was not a traditional conservative.

Then the families of fallen soldiers said I was wrong, and I did not listen because there are no soldiers in my family.

Then the soldiers themselves said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was not a soldier.

Then the centrists said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was not a centrist.

Then the generals said I was wrong, and I did not listen because I was not a general.

Eventually, there was no one left to tell me I was right but myself.


-------------------------
"Unsuccessful in every effort to find a plausible pretext to attack Iraq, Bush has now conveniently redefined terrorism, and thus his next target, by alleging that selected nations produce 'weapons of mass destruction.' "
--Act Now to Stop War & Erase Racism (A.N.S.W.E.R.) in March, 2002.

"There is clearly a threat from Iraq, and there is clearly a danger, but the Administration has not made a convincing case that we face such an imminent threat to our national security that a unilateral, pre-emptive American strike and an immediate war are necessary. Nor has the Administration laid out the cost in blood and treasure of this operation."
--Senator Ted Kennedy, September, 27 2002.

"A military attack on Iraq is obviously criminal; completely inconsistent with urgent needs of the Peoples of the United Nations; unjustifiable on any legal or moral ground; irrational in light of the known facts; out of proportion to other existing threats of war and violence; and a dangerous adventure risking continuing conflict throughout the region and far beyond for years to come."
--Former U.S. Attorney General Ramsey Clark in a letter to the United Nations on Sept. 20, 2002.

"France will vote 'no' because she considers tonight that there is no reason to wage a war to reach the goal we set ourselves, that is the disarmament of Iraq."
--French President Jacque Chirac, March 10, 2003.

"The price of U.S. occupation of Iraq, the price of U.S. empire in the Muslim world, is terror. The Islamic terrorists of 9/11 were over here because we were over there. We were attacked by suicide bombers in New York for the same reason that our Marines were attacked by a suicide bomber in Beirut. We took sides in a religious civil war, their war, and they want us out of that war. The fifteen hijackers from Saudi Arabia did not fly into the World Trade Center to protest the Bill of Rights. They want us off sacred Saudi soil and out of the Middle East. Is there anything over there--oil, bases, empire--worth risking an atomic bomb on U.S. soil?"
--Patrick Buchanan in Where the Right Went Wrong, Sept. 1, 2004.

“The reasons for war were wrong. They were lies. There were no WMDs. Al Qaeda was not there. And it was evident we couldn’t force democracy on people by force of arms.”
--Mike Hoffman, of Iraq Veterans Against the War, as quoted in Mother Jones, Oct. 11, 2004.

"We are losing our best and our brightest in a country that we are destroying, that was no threat to the United States of America. Iraq was and still is no danger to our safety and security, or to our way of life. The weapons of mass destruction and mass deception reside in this town: they are the neocons who pull the strings and the members of Congress who have loosened the purse strings with reckless abandon and have practically given George and company a blank check to run our country into monetary and moral bankruptcy."
--Cindy Sheehan, Sept. 15, 2005

"The argument for going to war with Iraq was based on intelligence that we now know was inaccurate. The information the American people were hearing from the president -- and that I was being given by our intelligence community -- wasn't the whole story. Had I known this at the time, I never would have voted for this war."
--Senator John Edwards, Nov. 13, 2005 in The Washington Post.
"I now regret that I did not more openly challenge those who were determined to invade a country whose actions were peripheral to the real threat--Al-Qaeda."
--Lieut. General Greg Newbold in Newsweek, April 17, 2006.

"...In the lead-up to the Iraq war and its later conduct, I saw, at a minimum, true dereliction, negligence and irresponsibility; at worst, lying, incompetence and corruption.
--Gen. Tony Zinni, former commander in chief of United States Central Command in The Battle For Peace.

What’s not to like about Senator Russ Feingold?

Like most Americans, I hadn’t given much thought to Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold. After he was first out of the gate to censure the president, he caught my attention—not because that was such a bold move, but because so few Democratic leaders joined his effort. I can’t fathom voting for a presidential candidate that wouldn’t support censuring Bush for ordering illegal wiretaps. Then on April 4, he came out in favor of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples.

Who is this guy? A Democrat with conviction and the guts? That sounds like just what we’ve been looking for. A Democrat who doesn’t have the albatross of supporting the Iraq war before he opposed it hanging around his neck. A Democrat who didn’t have to write an op-ed piece to say that he was wrong to support the war on Iraq, because he wasn’t wrong. Hillary Clinton, Joe Lieberman, Tom Daschle, John Kerry and John Edwards were wrong, but Feingold was right all along. We ought to reward that kind of wisdom and discernment.

John Kerry must cry himself to sleep that he wasn’t the one who spoke these words in October 2002:

We are about to make one of the weightiest decisions of our time within a context of confused justifications and vague proposals. We are urged, Mr. President, to get on board and bring the American people with us, but we don't know where the ship is sailing.

Feingold spends a lot of time listening to Wisconsinites on the issues. He’s held nearly 1,000 “listening sessions.” With all that listening, he may be more in tune with Americans than all those Democratic senators who let him hang out to dry on the censure resolution would have us believe.

Here are some other reasons to like this guy:

1. After we got into the mess in Iraq, Feingold was the first Senator to call for a flexible timetable to get our military out of Iraq, a notion that has been building steam.
2. He’s long supported the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which will finally prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Believe it or not, it’s still legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians in employment in 34 states.
3. My man Feingold helped balance the budget in the 90’s and now fights for a return to a budget discipline.
4. Feingold has fought for increased funding to combat AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria around the world.
5. What little the U.S. has done to address the genocide in Sudan has been largely due to Senator Feingold’s initiative.
6. Feingold cast the Senate's lone vote against the USA Patriot Act. Many of the concerns he had about infringing on precious liberties are now widely shared. Again, the man had the guts to go against the tide, standing on principle, even when it was unpopular at the time. He’s consistently ahead of the curve.

Bonuses:

• Good hair
• Good teeth
• Doesn’t scream at rallies

And now a reality check.

Reasons our sorry electorate won’t elect Senator Russ Feingold in 2008:

• He opposed the USA Patriot ACT.
• He’s a Rhodes Scholar and Harvard-educated lawyer.
• He opposes the death penalty.
• He’s been divorced—twice.
• He’s not Christian.
  

In God Many Of Us Trust

Sure, it sounds innocuous enough. A plaque, funded entirely from donations, is placed at the Hawthorne, California city hall to commemorate the 50th anniversary of our nation's motto. How could anyone object?

Our national motto, though adopted only 50 years ago, has been printed on various U.S. coins since 1866. This motto is inscribed prominently on the dais of the U.S. House of Representatives. A simple resolution and a plaque sounds like a great way to commemorate an event of historical significance. It's a no brainer, right?

That motto, which you'll find now on every U.S. coin in your pocket, every bill in your wallet, is "In God We Trust." Those five words are so ubiquitous, they could hardly offend. To no surprise, the city council of Hawthorne, home of The Beach Boys, passed the resolution unanimously.

Examine the history of the motto may give one pause. Take 2006 and subtract 50 years and you can guess what was going on when Congress and Eisenhower decided to make "In God We Trust" the national motto. In the midst of the McCarthy communist witch hunt, atheism was equated with communism. That was the same decade "under God" was added to the Pledge of Allegiance and "so help me God" was tacked onto oaths of office.

Our original motto, E Pluribus Unum, is still on the Great Seal of the United States. That motto communicates unity--Out of many, one--and was chosen by Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin. Remember that next time you hear a justification of the encroachment of religion in government with the claim that our forefathers would want it that way. Joseph McCarthy and Roy Cohn are not our nation's forefathers.

No, our forefathers did not put "In God We Trust" on our coins. The idea resulted from a request from Baptist minister Mark R. Watkinson, who in 1861 wrote to the Secretary of the Treasury to suggest that a religious motto be put on coins to "relieve us from the ignominy of heathenism." From the beginning, the motto had a clear religious meaning and purpose. Are you concerned yet?

Certainly, the fine members of the Hawthorne City Council aren't part of a vast conspiracy to theocratize our nation. Or, are they? The American Family Association is behind a campaign to get "In God We Trust" posters in every school as "a reminder of the historical centrality of God in the life of our republic." Yes, the AFA. The same AFA that rails against gay rights and boycotts Target for greeting shoppers with "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." Now are you bothered?

Posters promoting religion in public schools is one thing, but how did this campaign jump to the Hawthorne City Council? For that, give credit to religious conservative Bakersfield Councilwoman, Jacquie Sullivan. It was Sullivan, founder of "In God We Trust America" who sent an e-mail to every city clerk in California about her goal to exhibit the motto in city buildings all over California. In the newspaper, The Record, she's said "God has always had an important place in our country. We are basically a country of believers, and this is something that's good for the future of our country."

Yes, basically a country of believers...except for those who aren't.

The idea for the motto originated during the Civil War with Baptist minister Mark R. Watkinson, who wrote to U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P. Chase on Nov. 13, 1861, suggesting the religious motto. Watkinson argued that a religious phrase on coins would "relieve us from the ignominy of heathenism."

The motto has passed legal muster because it does not promote a particular religion. But it does promote religion. With federal funding for faith-based service providers, "intelligent design" lessons in biology classes and a thousand other examples of the promotion of religion in the public square, we've lost the notion that the First Amendment protects Americans right to not express a religion.

It's not just the fact that not everyone believes in God. A lot of people may believe in a divine force behind the universe without believing that we all should "trust" that force to guide our puny lives. If President Bush hadn't trusted that God was guiding him, maybe he wouldn't have been so cocksure about invading Iraq. If he trusted in reason, maybe he wouldn't have stalled progress on stem cell research. If our fearless leader trusted in science more than a belief that the end times are near, maybe he would take global warming seriously.

We atheists and agnostics are not a popular bunch. Never mind the Buddhists, Hindus and various others whose ideas of deity do not fit the Judeo-Christian mold. But we have one of our founding fathers on our side. James Madison championed the separation church and state and warned of the tyranny of the majority oppressing the rights of minorities. The father of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights is with me on this. If Madison were sitting on the Hawthorne City Council, the Honorable Councilwoman Ginny Lambert's resolution would have had at least one quite eloquent dissenter.

"The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe with blood for centuries."

And,

"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments by those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations."

Be bothered.

My Chevy Tahoe Ad

Lots of folks are having a ball creating their own Chevy Tahoe ad. As part of a promotion with The Apprentice, you (yes, you!) can create your own Chevy Tahoe ad using a collection of video clips. The fun part is you can add your own snarky text.

Well, I don't think my entry is in the running.