A trip to Etna is a trip

My sister, Stacy, and I drove up to our hometown, Etna, today. We're visiting our sick grandma for a few days.

It's about a seven hour drive from the Bay Area to Etna and it's mostly through rural Northern California. When you get outside the Bay Area, of course, you soon lose your pre-set radio stations. I forgot to bring any CD's, so we were at the mercy of the airwaves.

When you head into rural California, you have three basic choices: Spanish-language, Christian or Western. There may even be a few Spanish-language stations playing Western music with a Christian twist. I'm not sure.

So, as our Bay Area rock station faded beyond recognition, I was forced to hit the seek button. Stacy, who is, inexplicably, a country music fan, announced that she thought 95.7 out of Red Bluff is a country station. "Thanks for the warning," I responded.

But before I could hit the seek button a second time, we got stuck on a country station. The first thing we hear is a lovely little melody with the lyrics--I shit you not--"All I want to do is pick a tick off you."

Now, I don't care who you are, that's romantic. We just had to listen on to see if the song would go on with "All I want to do is rub salve on you saddle sores all night long," or "All I want to do is suck the armadillo meat out between your teeth."

My dad suggested someone should invent a car stereo that automatically skips country stations, like so much static. So there you go--another invention for someone (still waiting for someone to take on my TV remote/Clapper combo invention).

We "made good time" and Grandma was really happy to see us. We may be trimming her juniper shrubs tomorrow and visiting with my aunt and uncle who are here from Florida.

For now, we're home. Dad set up his wireless router, so now Stacy and I are both pecking away at our laptops while his guitar gently weeps in the other room.

We'll all sleep well tonight knowing that our dear Sanjaya is safe for another week.

Wanted: personal assistant with strong calendar skills

Is it me? It might be me. How can I screw up two parties in two weeks?

Last Saturday, Robert and I went to a birthday party for our friend, Theral, at his house in the Santa Cruz mountains. We had it all planned out: (1) training run at the Stanford dish, (2) lunch on campus, (3) drive to San Francisco to see an Asian Filmfest movie at 3:30, (4) get to Theral's birthday in plenty of time. So, we show up at the party at about 6:30, right when it was to start. Or so we thought. When we walked around the back, we saw they were already cutting the birthday cake. Only a few cold hamburgers were left lying on a paper plate. We ended up having a great time, but after I checked my e-mail, I realized the party had started at 3 p.m. No excuse. The e-mail was crystal clear. Showing up 3 1/2 hours late is a level of tardiness that is hardly a fashion statement.

Fast forward to yesterday. Big plans: (1) training run at the Stanford dish (2) lunch at Stanford Shopping Center (3) see the same movie we planned to see the week before but had got stuck in traffic and (4) go to my friend Lynda's retirement party at 7 p.m. at the Drying Shed.

I still don't really know what happened. I realized when we got in the car that we were going to be an hour late because my Blackberry chose not join the rest of us with the early Daylight Savings Time. But an hour is still fashionable, arguably. We got to the restaurant (where I've been before) and walked in the banquet room. Whew! They hadn't started eating yet. People were still milling around, getting drinks from the bar.

I swiftly placed our gift on the gift table with dozens of other packages and cards. We thought we lucked out. We were even pleased to find we'd dressed appropriately. We'd both stressed out whether we should go really casual or get dressed up for Lynda. As I was scanning the dress of the crowd, I suddenly realized I couldn't find even one person I recognized. Lynda knows a lot of people, but this was really odd.

I beelined it back to the gift table. A big yellow bag had the words "Happy Birthday" printed all over it. An envelope sat in front of it with "Debbie" written on it. I grabbed Robert and jammed out the door. Perhaps we're just in the wrong banquet room. We check with a hostess at the front. No, no retirement party for Lynda, just a birthday party for Debbie.

As delightful as Debbie's friends seemed to be, we opted to leave. Our hunch was that the party was moved to a larger venue and somehow I didn't get the message. We could have traipsed across town looking in the ballrooms at the Hilton, the Hyatt or the Marriott, but we're too kind to the planet to be spewing greenhouse gasses on a wild goose chase. We ended up eating mediocre Filipino food at Chow King in our slacks and sports coats.

I still haven't figured out what happened. I found the invitation and I was right about time, date and place (except for the DST snafu).

If you invite us to anything in the future, please plan on giving us a reminder call. We're a mess.

I'm in the semi-finals!

Good news! I'm moving on to the semifinals in the Rooster T. Feathers Amateur Comedy Competition. Thank you to everyone who showed up to see my show. I really appreciate the support. The field was really strong tonight--a lot of funny comics.

My next night to perform is May 9th. The show will sell out again, so if you can come support me, you have to make a reservation by calling 408-736-0921.

Robert took some video of the show, but apparently, had some trouble with the technology. I'll see what's salvaged and see if I can put up another video clip.

The May 9th show will again be at 157 W. El Camino Real in Sunnyvale. Tickets are $12 for this show and there is a two drink minimum.

About 12 comedians will perform. By audience vote, three will move on to the finals. All 12 have all been through the preliminary round so you're in for a good show. There is also a headliner who will perform while they tally the votes.

Remember: You have to call 408-736-0921 to make your reservation!