You think you're some sort of comedian?

I took the leap. A crazy, nutty leap. For the past few weeks, I've been a fully matriculated student of the San Francisco Comedy College. Having fulfilled all of the admissions requirements--the check cleared--I began learning the art and science of funny under the tutelage of longtime comedian Kurtis Matthews, in July.

And now, I'm preparing for my graduation show at Rooster T. Feathers at 156 W. El Camino Real in Sunnyvale on Saturday, Sept. 2 at 4 p.m. I'll be one of about a dozen graduates, each given seven minutes to perform. I've learned that I get a lot more laughs when there are actually other people in the room, so I encourage my friends to show up and plan to have a good time.

What's my act about? Well, I can only tell you what it's not about. You can rest assured there'll be no watermelon smashing, no Jack Nicholson impressions, no confetti throwing and most importantly, no trans fats.

That's my time. You've been a great audience. Tip the wait staff, and drive safely.