I remember Mapa...but Mapa don't remember me

We had a surreal experience yesterday. Robert and I met up with a couple we befriended on our Atlantis cruise, Jeff and Marty. Like Robert, Jeff is Filipino. Like me, Marty is a big white guy who is also named Marty. It turns out we have a lot of other things in common. Par exemple, we are both fans of Alec Mapa. If you don't know who he is, you're watching the wrong television shows. With a touch of irony, he describes himself on his MySpace page thusly: "I'M A GLAMOROUS AND EXCITING TELEVISION STAR." But only a touch, because he is indeed a glamorous and exciting television star to some of us.

I first saw Alec in his one-man show, I Remember Mapa, in San Francisco, several years ago. Then, a couple of years ago, we met him at an event in San Francisco for GAPA, a gay Asian group. At that event, I stood behind him in a buffet line and gushed how I enjoy reading his column in The Advocate. And since I've been dabbling in stand-up comedy and Alec is one of the best gay comedians out there, I've been following his career more closely.

So, back to the surreality. With another couple (Edgar and Mark, also a Filipino+white guy gay pair), we drove up to Muir Woods for a hike. As we were walking among the redwoods, I brought up Alec Mapa to Marty and found out he was also a fan. The reason Alec was on my mind was we just saw Dreamgirls the night before, and one of the reasons I wanted to see it was because I'd just read Alec's review of the movie on his MySpace page. And there was another reason I'll get to in a second.

Not five minutes later, Marty and I see coming down the trail none other than Alec Mapa. We both immediately recognize him. When Alec sees us (two big white guys, both with Filipino partners trailing behind) looking at him, he looks like he just saw two grizzly bears in the trail, and he's not sure what to do. OK, for bears, do you stay still, or do you raise your hands and try to look big, or do you turn around and run like hell?

He opts to continue walking down the path toward us and to be gracious to what I'm sure he immediately estimated as adoring rice queens. Marty told him he was a fan of his comedy. Someone asked if we could take a picture with him. He obliged. As we posed together, I again gushed that we met him at GAPA and that I'm his MySpace friend. In fact, he's in my top four.

Wow, how sad I am, that one of my four best friends is someone I don't really know. And with that, I refrain from telling him that I was just talking about him five minutes ago with Marty and Mark. And I refrain from telling him that I actually had a dream about him just two nights ago, after I had read his Dreamgirls review. And I refrain from telling him that in said dream, we were totally, um, enjoying each other's company, let's say. Hey, I know he and I are both partnered, but I can't control my dreams! Besides, I think Robert was in the dream anyway and he was totally OK with it. I can't remember the details. We're deep in the woods, so I rightfully figured Alec did not need to know all of this at this particular moment.

As he left, I blurted out my last inane comment of the day, "See you with the housewives!" Desperate Housewives, that is. Funny that I should drop the "desperate" since that's pretty much how I was coming across.

Happy New Year.