I placed second!

The final round of competition was tonight at Rooster T. Feathers. I'm very excited that I placed second place out of 13! All 13 comedians had the crowd laughing, so I can only say thank you to everyone who supported me. Kudos to Rooster T. Feathers for putting on a great competition that was a lot of fun every night.

I don't know what's next. I don't have any performances planned. I want to continue writing material, so my friends don't get bored coming to future shows. I don't want them changing their e-mail addresses on me.

Performing comedy is a kick in the pants, especially when there's a friendly crowd out there. I've been working out my material at a lot of small open mike nights. Those are not always fun. Performing in front of five people kind of sucks. And it's usually not my crowd. It's tought to win over a crowd of mostly straight guys, but that's who comes to most comedy clubs. So, they're just going to have to get used to hearing me talk about penises.

Doing five good minutes in an amateur competition is a world away from getting hired as a feature or headliner act. I am still amazed by comedians that can keep a crowd laughing for 45 minutes. Even if I had 45 minutes of material, I can't imagine committing it all to memory. But then, I was able to memorize all those Steve Martin records when I was 13. There's hope, because the public has a short memory. Remember when, a couple of years ago, the earth blew up? No? Never mind.

All's Whale that Ends Whale

When three of the Republican presidential candidates admitted they don't believe in evolution, I thought they were far outside of the mainstream. But then these two humpback whales get lost on the Sacramento River, and people suddenly reveal that they have no faith in evolution at all.

I'm all for saving the whales, but let's impose some criteria here. Let's save the smart whales. These are stupid whales, people. I say give natural selection a chance. These whales think they are salmon.

Lt. Gov. John Garamendi is behind the save-the-whales-at-all-costs effort. To make sure school kids all over would cry in hysterics if/when they die, he named them Delta and Dawn.

Garamendi also helped herd another dumbass whale, "Humphrey" back to the sea 22 years ago. Humphrey was sent back to the ocean where he probably made more baby whales. In fact, I wonder if Humphrey is Delta's demented father. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I do feel bad for Dawn. Her mother is an irresponsible parent. They shouldn't call her Dawn. They should call her Britney.

And now, we're trying to get Delta and Dawn out to sea where they can continue to pass on their mutant, stupid-whale gene to new generations. Pretty soon, we're going to have dozens of Delta's progeny heading to Sacramento.

These dumb-whale-huggers are out of ideas on how to cajole Delta and Dawn to swim back to the bay. They've tried banging on pipes and playing sounds of orca whales, because killer whales are a predator of humpbacks.

I have an idea. How about actual killer whales. We can end this thing right now. And that would be some compelling visuals to boot. For that, I'd trek up to Rio Vista myself.

I made it to the finals!

I'm in the FINAL ROUND!
Root for me Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Club
157 W. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale, CA
8:00 pm showtime
Call (408) 736-0921 to reserve your seat!

Tonight was my semifinal comedy competition at Rooster T. Feathers. The audience voted, and I'm moving on to the final round on May 30, 2007! I was up against some experienced, funny, comedians, so I was really fortunate to place second of the 11 performers.

The May 30 show will no doubt sell out and the audience will determine who is the winner. If you have any desire to attend this show, you should call 408-736-0921 and reserve your space ASAP.

Thank you to all my friends who showed up to see the show! I feel loved. *sniff*

Meanwhile, I'm also signed up for San Jose Improv's comedy competition as well. My night is May 29. Yes, one day before the Rooster's show. Call it a warm-up.

Here's the video: