A Gay, Gay, Gay Golden Globes

"I'm no queer," insists Ennis Del Mar. "But the 63rd Annual Golden Globes sure were."

Indeed, these were the queerest Golden Globes in recent memory, despite the lack of elaborate production numbers and the fact that no actual gay people (by my count) actually held any trophies on stage. But let's review the queer moments:

• Catherine Deneuve enters the stage, mutters something I can't recall, and leaves.
  
• Desperate Housewives wins, but gay creator Marc Cherry leaves the thanking and trophy-clutching to some other guy.
• The Will & Grace cast explains that to make a great sitcom, you need gay people. Sean Hayes does his best to not look like a flaming queen--he'll be looking for work next year.
• Leonardo diCaprio announces the winner for best actress in a drama. OK, he's not gay, but he's played gay, and he's still dreamy.
• Felicity Huffman wins for playing a transexual in Transamerica.
• Philip Seymour Hoffman wins for playing the gay author, Truman Capote, in Capote.
• Brokeback Mountain wins four awards, including the big prize. Dennis Quaid bombs with his quip that this is a movie that can be described as somethign that rhymes with "chick flick."

Earlier in the day, I made my Golden Globe guesses for the movie categories. I picked 8 of 13. Not bad.

Here are some other awards that I'd like to give:

The "Most Embarrassing Omission in an Acceptance Speech" goes to Ang Lee. Not for forgetting Randy Quaid who was in the room. No, Lee remembered to thank his wife, but neglected to acknowledge his long-time fishing buddy, Wei-Tung.









The "So Tell Me Again Why She Gets to Present an Award" award goes to Pamela Anderson. And whose baby is that she's swaddling in her top?



















The award for "The Acceptance Speech that Best Proves that the Hollywood Foreign Press Made the Right Pick" goes to Steve Carell and his wife. If you aren't watching The Office, you're missing out.


The runner up to the "So Tell Me Again Why She Gets to Present an Award" award goes to Drew Barrymore.

And I can't find a photo of her. They must have mercifully whisked her in and out before the cameras could get a shot of that atrocity she was wearing. She is undoubtedly regretting her decision to allow the contestants from Project Runway to dress her for the evening. Sure, they're creative, but the restriction that they use nothing but the upholstery from the couch they last sat on was just too much of a challenge, even for winner Santino, who regrettably had last sat on a couch in the Very Green Room.

Hey, I'm gay. I have a license to be catty about fashion.