Vice President Dick Cheney accidently shot and wounded a companion, Harry Wittington, during a quail hunting trip in Texas Saturday. The owner of the ranch hosting the quail shoot reported that Cheney was not aware his companion was approaching when he swung around to take a shot at a quail."The vice president didn't see him," said Katherine Armstrong, an owner of the property, in an interview. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."
The White House said nothing about the incident until Sunday, after it was reported by the local newspaper, leaving the spin duties to an appropriately distanced, but clearly prepped, Katherine Armstrong (interview video) whose talking points included the following (counter points in parentheses):
- It's not Cheney's fault. Mr. Whittington approached Cheney from behind without announcing himself. (Anyone who has been through a hunter safety course knows that the guy shooting is responsible for making sure there's nothing in the way--I don't recall hearing that it's OK to swing around to shoot something that has flown behind you.)
- Mr. Whittington is doing fine. 'Tis but a scratch. Just a flesh wound. (Then why was he in intensive care and is still in the hospital?)
- This kind of thing happens all the time. Armstrong herself says she's been "pretty well peppered" herself. (The Houston Chronicle reports that there were only 24 hunting related accidents in Texas in 2004. "Peppering" sounds so innocuous and innocent. Peppering is what you do to a mound of potatoes. You won't hear anyone under the White House's spell refer to this as a "shotgun blast into the chest and face.")
- The vice president is a safe, conscientious hunter. (Apparently, not so much.)
- Turn on the folksy. Preferred interjections: Gee Willikers. Gosh Whiz. Oopsy daisy. By God.
From Almost Infamous: "“It broke the skin," she said of the shotgun pellets. "“It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn'’t get in his eyes or anything like that." WTF, lady??? it'’s a shotgun blast, not a medicated shampoo.
From Gislebertus: You know, Dick Cheney is the first sitting Vice President to shoot another person since Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton. Harry Whittington is in pretty good company, but I doubt he's going to make the ten dollar bill.
The Apiary came to Cheney's defense: Pump one elderly man with a chestful of lead and suddenly everyone's on your case. Lay off, America!
Dania Audix has a top ten excuse list for why Cheney shot that guy. I like number 9: Warrantless domestic spying revealed he was getting phone calls from al Qaeda.
MovieDan82 says: Vice President Dick Cheney almost killed a man on Saturday when he sprayed an elderly hunting partner in the face with birdshot. I'’m telling you, Cheney is a loped out gangsta set trippin'’ banger, and his homies is down so don'’t arouse his anger...fool.
Another top ten list includes: 4. Was trying to impress Jodie Foster.
No More Mr. Nice Blog managed five additional reasons including: 2. Documents published in an Italian newspaper claimed that Whittington had once attempted to obtain edible seeds from Niger.
Tags: Dick Cheney, shotgun, Armstrong, quail
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