We were in Juneau at the dock getting ready to board a sea plane and this guy from our ship said, "The air here is so much thinner than back home in Texas. We're from Dallas where it's only about 500 feet above sea level. Here, it's like 5000 feet."Yes, he really said that.
We're in Alaska, but I think most people have no idea where that is. I think most people on this ship think Alaska is a big island down and just to the left of California and bordered by a thick red line. And that Hawaii lies right beside it, which begs the question, why don't we just take the ship for a little day trip to Waikiki and get some mai tais. Goodness, it's only a half an inch away. Well, I'll tell you why we can't do that. It's because of that red line.
There was a straight couple getting on our plane with us. They were from another cruise ship. They were telling us that the weather for them has been terrific. I asked them if they've been having all of their T-dances on the pool deck, but she didn't quite understand the concept. She said her ship is mostly older folks and that she is old enough to be my mother. She thought I was young. Let's just bask in that for a moment, shall we?
We got in the plane and the pilot was pretty casual. He said one of the passengers could sit in the co-pilot's seat. I was not comforted by this. This ship has people on it who think the sea plane is taking off from 5000 feet above sea level. I do not want them to be my co-pilot.
The pilot quickly went through some safety precautions, told us where the exits were and, importantly, where the barf bags are. Another passenger asked if we were supposed to turn off our cell phones. He said, "Sure." Sure. Hmm. What does that mean? He asked again: "So we're supposed to turn them off?" "Sure." OK, then. I guess I'll turn it off. I don't want my cell phone to trip up that altimeter into saying we're at 5000 feet above sea level. We've got that guy from Dallas for that.
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