Attention would-be inventors: I've got an invention for you. Just take it. Patent it. Make a bazillion dollars. Just get it to market soon. The world needs a TV remote that beeps when you call it. More importantly, I need it...stat. It could be a clap-on, clap-off deal, or just a button on the TV that you push when the damn thing is lost and the remote beeps. Cordless phones already have it. What kind of cruel sadist in the home electronics world is keeping this technology from reaching the market? If it's already there, somebody, please, throw me a line!Why don't I just patent the idea myself? Because I'm too busy looking for my damn remote. I don't know how this happens time and time again. It crawls deep underneath the bed. It hides between two pillows. It sneaks to the bottom of a box of Cheerios. A few days ago, I shit you not, I was looking for my remote for five minutes before I realized it was actually in my hand. In my hand!
And when our TiVo remote is lost, it means we literally can't change the channel. We're stuck watching the last channel we had it on, or one of the shows TiVo chooses to record for us. TiVo and I have been together for three years now, but sometimes I think TiVo just doesn't know me at all. Really, TiVo, Dora the Explorer? The Spanish version? What on earth did I watch to lead you believe I'd want to watch that show?
Alas, Robert did find the TiVo remote today. In a bizarre twist, it was actually in the remote control caddy, that tacky plastic contraption that spins around, holds up to six remotes and sports a picture frame on each of the four sides--because who doesn't want to see cherished family portraits as they're spinning around their remote caddy, trying to remember which one works the DVD player?
3 comments:
Hey Mart, that's a good idea. They certainly have the technology to do that. I have a theory on that, though. The corporations that make those little buggers WANT you to lose them! They can't stand the thought of not selling you a replacement every so often. As a matter of fact, I think they have secret systems in those rascals that enables them to transmogrify themselves into other stuff, like a crumpled beer can, or last month's Reader's Digest, or a dirty sock! And that's not all. Know how your remote ended up in your Fruit Loops or whatever? It's a simple matter of teleportation. Yup. They can do that, too.
I wonder if it would work to tether that remote to your portable phone. That way, even if it ran off you could beep the phone and find them both. I don't know what you'd do if you find the sucker and it's turned into a pit bull, though.
Might be better to log chain the little prick to the couch.
Good ideas, Pop. I was trying to think of other things that I could tether it to--things that you can't avoid running into, no matter how hard you try: Grizabella's hairballs, credit card offers, inane new reality shows, photos of Britney Spears's shaved muff.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! This one gave me a great laugh, the hand part started it. Then your dad's comment, cracks me up, why don't we see that side of him when we're out with family? jk! hahahahaa! love it!
Post a Comment