Weekend Update

Since SNL is on a break this week, here's a little fake news:


During the Summit of the Americas, a reporter asked the president how he would react if he crossed paths with Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, who has been highly critical of the Bush Administration. “Well, I will, of course, be polite,” the president responded. “That's what the American people expect their President to do, is to be a polite person. And I will -- if I run across him, I will do just that.” An embarrassed Karl Rove later admonished aides to stop the practice of routing talking points to the president's mother.

Bush's pledge of politeness was shortlived. Throughout that afternoon's proceedings, he was observed slouching in his chair and listening to his iPod.



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President Bush’s approval rating dropped to 37 percent this week, the lowest of his presidency. When a reporter asked Bush for comment, the president pointed in the air and yelled, “Look! Over there! Bird flu!” and fled to his waiting helicopter.








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Famiglia Cristiana, a popular Catholic magazine in Italy, is drawing protests from its readers over an advertisement that shows a naked woman’s bottom through a shower door. The U.S. Federal Communications Commission is investigating the incident.






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To pay for Hurricane Katrina recovery efforts, Republicans in Congress and the president are proposing major cuts to domestic programs such as Medicare, Medicaid and food stamps. When asked what poor Americans who will be cut off from the federal programs will do, Bush responded, “Hey, join the army. We'll give you free healthcare and plenty of food. It’s a great program.”